I recently read a short blog post by Terry Godier titled “Phantom Obligation.” On the surface, the article discusses the interface design and psychological implications of modern applications—a topic that isn’t particularly grand, and its length is restrained. Yet, in an almost understated manner, it points to a psychological state we experience almost daily but rarely take the time to name. Often, what truly exhausts us and fills us with guilt isn’t real responsibilities but rather those unconfirmed “shoulds.”
We Are Paying Off Debts That Don’t Exist
In this article, Terry Godier introduces a concept: phantom obligation, which can be translated as “虚幻债务” or “幽灵义务” in Chinese.
Its meaning is not complicated:
You feel guilty about something no one has ever asked you to do.
To illustrate this, the author interviewed Brent Simmons, the inventor of the RSS reader. He asked a seemingly detailed yet profound question: Why, when designing the RSS reader in 2002, did they adopt a structure almost identical to that of an email inbox with “unread messages”? After all, RSS and email are not the same; the former doesn’t carry the social obligation of being read or the expectation of a response.
The answer is actually quite simple. This design merely borrowed the most familiar interface paradigm of the time. But this “convenience” planted hidden pitfalls for our digital lives. Since then, we’ve seen designs like app badges, “read later” lists, podcast progress indicators, and to-do lists—all replicating the “inbox–unprocessed–pending” logic while quietly detaching from real social obligations.
On the surface, this seems like an issue of information management. But over time, these designs subtly yet persistently convey a psychological hint: Is there something you haven’t finished? Are you falling behind? Do you owe something?
But think calmly: Do these “debts” really exist?
No author is waiting for you to finish reading their RSS feed, and no system will punish you for skipping an article. Yet the burden and guilt are undeniably real. This is where Terry Godier’s article truly shines—it reminds us that the sense of obligation itself has begun to detach from real relationships and has become a designed, internalized psychological structure.
And this structure isn’t limited to information tools. Once you become aware of the concept of “phantom obligations,” you’ll find it permeating almost every aspect of contemporary ordinary life.
“Success Narratives” Are the Largest Generator of Phantom Obligations
Beyond the realm of information, modern society operates a heavier, more concealed mechanism of phantom obligations: the “obligation to succeed.”
The phrase “If you work hard, you will succeed” has accompanied many people throughout their upbringing. It sounds like positive encouragement, but logically, it implies an almost irrefutable premise:
If you haven’t succeeded, it must be because you haven’t worked hard enough.
Thus, a responsibility that is never explicitly confirmed but is highly binding is quietly established: You should have become a more successful person. Failing to achieve that result is itself seen as a form of deficiency.
This is also why, when someone bluntly shatters this illusion, it often triggers strong discomfort:
Admitting that you are just an ordinary person, or even admitting that you are a fool, and giving up the fantasy of achieving fame and fortune might be the most rational choice for most ordinary people.
What makes this statement jarring isn’t that it negates hard work itself, but that it rejects a logic of self-justification that is endlessly deferred. If someone has tried and put in effort countless times over decades without ever reaching the repeatedly promised outcome, then continuing to treat “one more try” as the only answer is itself questionable.
This isn’t a moral issue but a matter of probability and structure. Often, not succeeding doesn’t mean “almost there”; it simply means lacking the conditions, ability, or timing. Admitting this isn’t failure; it’s damage control.
After all, we don’t owe the world a successful version of ourselves.
“Time” Makes Phantom Obligations Endlessly Cyclical
When phantom obligations spread from “information” to “life,” what they ultimately occupy is time itself.
A quote by Liu Zhenyun has resonated with many online, offering an almost brutal description of this “phantom obligation”:
The most terrifying thing about work is that it makes us look forward to aging because we long for retirement. It gradually erodes our perception of time, making us forget to cherish the youngest, most vibrant day of our remaining lives.
This is a paradoxical yet incredibly common state. We fear aging, yet we psychologically postpone “real life” to a point in time that presupposes aging. Today is treated as a transitional period, tomorrow as a period of endurance, and what is truly worth anticipating is always in the future.
But the problem is, that future offers no guarantees. We rush and expend ourselves day after day, merely to sustain a body that will inevitably wrinkle and age, while rarely tending to the soul that lives and dies with us, accompanying us throughout life.
This, too, is a phantom obligation:
I must endure now because my turn will come later.
But this “later” has never signed a contract with us.
When these structures overlap, the psychological state of many modern people becomes quite understandable. On one hand, people vaguely feel they owe many debts: unfinished tasks, a more successful life, a future that should have been more meaningful. On the other hand, they clearly know that no one is actually waiting for them to repay these “debts.”
No one requires you to read all the information, no one guarantees that hard work will lead to success, and no one promises that enduring until retirement will bring real life. Thus, an extremely modern emotion emerges:
It feels as though we owe the whole world, but there is no real creditor.
We aren’t crushed by real responsibilities but are slowly and steadily drained by countless psychological contracts we never signed.
Start Recognizing Phantom Obligations Now
Terry Godier doesn’t offer a solution to “phantom obligations,” nor does Liu Zhenyun. Because such problems often don’t have a practical, step-by-step “method.”
But if we must identify the first step for ordinary people to improve their quality of life, I lean toward a seemingly passive yet critically important realization:
It’s not about fulfilling these phantom obligations, but first confirming that they never existed in the first place.
We don’t owe the world the task of reading everything, nor do we owe society a template of success, and we certainly don’t owe the future a youth that must be sacrificed. This isn’t about giving up or escaping; it’s about damage control.
When we stop treating “living” itself as a debt to be settled later, the real change in our quality of life often begins.